The Wall of Crap!
We love comics. But some less so than others.
Some time ago, SCREAMING MONKEY COMICS started a wall paying homage to some of the biggest ill-conceived issues, boring tales, and in some cases....outright dumpster fires....that have ever been sold on a comic book shelf.
And so began the legend of the Wall of Crap!
In case you don't have a chance to visit the store and see them in person,
you can enjoy our virtual display of the books that have now been lost to
the indifference of time.
STREET FIGHTER #1 (1986)
Trust me. I've researched it exhaustively. This is not a
cheap knockoff of the well known video game, despite the bizarrely similar title logo. It has nothing to do with the game, which wouldn't be released in Japan for another two years. It was just....well.....boring as hell.
SUPERMAN / RADIO SHACK (1980)
The Man of Steel appears as a guest teacher at a
Metropolis middle school to help the kids appreciate the amazing computer power of the Radio Shack
TRS-80, but he ends up needing their help to avert
an oncoming disaster! Oh, Radio Shack....I actually owned a TRS-80. It used a cassette tape drive for storage, the graphics looked like something the
Atari 2600 had puked up, and it couldn't avoid
interference from my sister's hairdryer. This book
lied to me!
THE MAN FROM ATLANTIS (1978)
I'll bet you couldn't find more than a dozen people who have heard of this 1977 television series starring Patrick Duffy - about an amnesiac man who may or or may not be the last surviving citizen of Atlantis.
I'll bet you can find even less people who were aware that they made a comic book about it. Don't worry, Patrick. Some day you'll star in DALLAS and no one will remember this turkey. Except us.
CAPTAIN DINGLEBERRY #1 (1998)
If there was ever a comic that was literally born to be on the Wall of Crap, this is it right here. Thank God it was only in black & white.
It was later followed up by a mini-series called "Captain Dingleberry: Unplugged." Goodness.
CHUCK NORRIS: KARATE
KOMMANDOS #2 (1987)
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants. Here are two interesting facts about this comic. First, it was based off of a short-lived animated series from the 1980s. Second, it was illustrated by the late great Steve Ditko. Yes,
THAT Steve Ditko. Swear to God. Why?
Because Chuck Norris commanded it.
UNCANNY X-MEN #141
Exhibited not so much as a comment on the
quality of the comic, but rather as a critique on
certain people's ability to handle collectibles.
Look, I'm not saying you need to hermetically seal your books in an airtight, temperature-controlled environment.. But for the love of
Stan Lee, people, at least don't store your unbagged comics in a leaky garage through winter! What are you, insane?
THOR #134 (1966)
Same as above. Just more angrily.
SLOTH PARK #1 (1998)
Okay, there's loving parody....and then there's
lazy capitalization of an extremely hot new
property. My daughter proudly owns a copy of
this very low printed comic, but even she admits she's owns it ironically.
MR. T and THE T-FORCE #1 (1993)
To be fair, Mr. T is kiind of a cool human being.
We've never actually opened this polybagged
comic book with artwork by the late great
Neal Adams, so maybe I shouldn't judge. It
did run for 14 issues, but it wasn't enough to
prevent NOW comics from going out of
business in 1994.
NFL SUPERPRO #1 (1991)
Yes, this really happened. After an ex-NFL
player barely survives a freak accident, he goes on to fight crime wearing a near indestructable football uniformn. Series creator Fabian Nicez later admitted to writing the series in order to get free NFL tickets. Which might be the least embarrassing way to explain any book's
existance.
SHATTER #8 (1987)t
This comic from FIRST COMICS marketed itself as "the first comic where everything was created by computer." Specifically, a combination of an Apple Computer, Full Paint and Microsoft Word. All the excitement of an MS-DOS game cut scene right on your page! Okay, so it wasn't Frank MIller art.....but on the other hand, it wasn't text-to-image AI art either. So at least it had
THAT going for it.